


Melancholy Prospect

by Dexiha



Series: Drabbles [12]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Other, Suicidal Draco, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-15 04:38:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13605690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dexiha/pseuds/Dexiha
Summary: Tell me what's going in your head, Draco.





	Melancholy Prospect

**Author's Note:**

> Not read through and written on phone, so I apologies for any mistakes and/or typos.  
> [Link](https://assassinsdragons.tumblr.com/post/170623472542/whats-on-your-mind-draco-harry-asked) to post on tumblr.  
> The tags are what they are because this drabble could be uncomfortable for some to read as there are some suicidal thoughts going on here... please, don't read if this is something you don't like.

"What's on your mind, Draco?" Harry asked.

He had noticed that the other boy had been retreating within himself all day and not at all in a good way.

“Nothing,” Draco answered but he didn’t meet Harry’s eye as they sat at the benches of the changing room, drying their hair after the Quidditch practice.

“Please,” Harry continued. Since the both of them had started to fly for the French national Quidditch Team Harry had gotten to know the blond more than he’d ever thought he’d do. As a result, he had also started to care about him in a way he’d never thought he’d do about anyone after his breakup with Ginny. The breakup had been soft, but he still had felt a bit lost afterwards. “I really care, you know, and I can see clearly that something’s on your mind.”

“Yes, I know, Potter, but I don’t want to tell you. It’s too… lame.”

“I highly doubt that. Nothing can be lame if it causes you to get hit by the bludger twice in less than ten minutes.”

Draco sighed before lifting his head to let grey eyes meet green. There was something showing through them that told Harry that this was a test, and if he didn’t pass he wouldn’t get to know what Draco was thinking, and for some reason he really had to know! So he kept staring, but he made certain that he didn’t look craving. Another sigh was heard some time later and Draco opened his mouth to let the words pour out.

“Alright, you asked for this, don’t you forget about that. And don’t say I didn’t warn you.

"You remember the talk we had shortly after the war, about how we both got through life and how we managed to want to stay alive? You remember that I told you that for me it was all about fear? I was afraid of what would await me once my light was blown out.

"Well, after that I found another reason to stay alive, and that was to keep those around me happy, satisfied and cared for. Eventually, I would lose my fear of dying, and what would be there to keep me here then? So I went around and did my best to be there for others, to help them with whatever, to talk to them whenever they needed to talk. I promised to always be there for them. And that’s what I plan to do.

"But it’s hard, really, because more often than not, these people have started to seem uninterested in what I do to help them. Like, they doesn’t seem to care whether I’m happy or sad, if I’m still there or not. So when those I’ve sworn to care for doesn’t seem to need my care anymore, what’s gonna help me feel like I should still be here?

"The problem with this is that I have no idea. I feel how I’m getting mentally lower for each moment that goes, but no one notices. I feel how I’m there for others less and less, but no one notices. If they don’t notice that, am I still needed? Do I still matter? I don’t know. I know though, that I have to find out soon cause my time is running out.”

Harry sat frozen in his seat. This was not what he had expected. Draco was on the edge to becoming suicidal. How did one reply to that?

“Uh, that… that was the opposite of lame, actually.” Harry began, but his joke fell flat - Draco hadn’t gotten enough joy left to be able to laugh. “It’s… I… I’m sorry you feel like this, Drake, but you know that I would miss you right? And so would our entire team. And I’m certain even Ron would miss your company at our lunch meetings. You would be missed if you were gone, I swear.” Harry pulled Draco into a soft hug and whispered “I’ll always be there for you if you’ll always be there for me, okey?” At last a faint smile played on Draco’s lips. Though it didn’t really become a true smile, it was still something and Harry was fine with that at the moment. From now on, he’d make sure that Draco knew he constantly was deeply appreciated so that he’d never feel like this again.

**Author's Note:**

> I think I need a hug.  
> I'm sad.


End file.
